[time-nuts] Determining Time-Nut infection severity

xaos at darksmile.net xaos at darksmile.net
Mon Oct 25 03:40:40 EDT 2010


Only to die and in a split second the mysteries of the universe
will open to you and you will realize that "time" was relative and
subjective and can be varied by certain "jokers".

And, most importantly, your grandfather's "grandfather clock"
(you know, the one in the living room with the gargoyles)
is really the absolute time standard for all known universes
and when it stops, time really stops but only in the universes
where the gravitational constant is a multiple of 42.

Trust me, I know this. A homeless man from outer space
told me when I came out of CBGB's after watching the Ramones.

Wait, is this the Yahoo urban-folklore group?

73, N2FGX

Quoting Bill Hawkins <bill at iaxs.net>:

> OK, this is an interesting problem, but don't take anything I say
> seriously, unless, of course, the shoe fits.
>
> Consider the end stages of TNI. You have acquired everything that
> can be acquired. Nothing holds any secrets from you, and so there
> are no challenges left. Agreed, some of us will run out of money
> or space before we reach that state. The last question may be,
> "What happens if I compare three hydrogen masers for a full year,
> to ascertain the affects of gravity on hydrogen masers?"
>
> In almost all cases, your wife (collecting big things is a
> testosterone-induced behavior) will be beside herself with worry
> about how to recover the money you squandered on your collection
> when you die. Her only recourse may be to call a junk collector
> and pay to have it all removed, especially the stuff in rented
> storage lockers.
>
> The problem of testosterone-induced hoarding behavior (if that
> fits) is that basements, rooms, and storage lockers fill up. By
> hoarding, you withhold interesting things from beginning time-
> nuts -- people who have questions but no equipment with which to
> find answers.
>
> If you expect the value of your hoard to increase, consider that
> you are subject to the rate of technological change. You'll be
> lucky to get 10 cents on the dollar for the bleeding edge stuff
> you bought. The nostalgia affect peaks and dies as the old folks
> die. On top of that, time is an esoteric field. Put something up
> on eBay and you'll be very lucky to get 100 people looking at it.
>
> So do your loved ones (if that fits) and the next generation of
> time-nuts a favor and disperse your collection. If it's museum
> quality, donate it to a museum (if you can find one that will
> take it - you won't be alone). Larry Ware on Jack's Boat Anchor
> list would sell stuff at low prices to the guy who wrote the best
> story about what he'd do with it.
>
> The problem of dating the tombstone is easily solved. First, you
> pick a time to die and work it out with your relatives so that no
> one will stop you -- perhaps because you didn't get rid of your
> junk. Then you pick a means of death that can be started by an
> electrical signal, like a solenoid-driven knife that severs the
> thread suspending a sword far above your heart.
>
> Finally, you set up a count-down clock that will provide the
> signal. Now you can tell the engraver what to put on your
> tombstone. You are relieved of the uncertainty that goes with
> not knowing when you will die. Your loved ones can get bank loans
> based on what's in your will. It's a win-win situation, as long
> as the sword doesn't miss.
>
> Happy Halloween,
> Bill Hawkins
>
>
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